Get To Know Me!

Behind the name Tobey Alexander is a story of survival, self-discovery, and unapologetic neurodivergence.

Hi, I’m Gav, though many know me as Tobey Alexander, my author and screenwriter name.

I’m a late-diagnosed autistic adult with ADHD, a multi-award-winning storyteller, coach, and advocate. For nearly two decades, I worked in the UK’s Blue Light Services. High-pressure roles, life-and-death moments, and a lifetime of masking shaped my early years.

It took near breakdown, and a breakthrough, to realise I wasn’t broken. I was just wired differently.

Now, I use my voice to help others stop hiding who they are.

🔥 The Turning Point

For most of my life, I was performing. I wore whatever mask the world needed just to get by humour, control, overworking, people-pleasing. It looked like success on the outside. Inside, I was burning out.

My diagnosis didn’t give me an excuse. It gave me a framework. I wasn’t failing. I was just wired differently.

That moment forced me to stop surviving and start understanding who I actually was. From there, everything changed.

Alongside my BSc in Psychology from Nottingham Trent University and my professional qualifications (Level 3 Award in Education and Training (PTLLS) and TAQA), I am a certified life coach and currently working toward a qualification in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). In 2015, I released my first book, marking the start of my mission to showcase the unique strengths of being different and help others do the same.

✍️ Storytelling Became Survival

Writing was never a hobby. It was how I made sense of the world. It gave me control when everything else felt chaotic.

Through books and screenplays, I found a way to explore identity, resilience, trauma, and purpose. I wasn’t just telling stories. I was writing the things I needed to hear, and it turned out other people needed them too.

Since publishing my first book in 2015, I’ve used storytelling as a tool for self-connection and public change. Nearly 30 international screenplay awards later, I’m still writing for the same reason I started: to feel less alone, and help others do the same.

🎤 Speaking Honestly

I’ve spoken at national conferences and frontline units across law enforcement and defence, including:

East Midlands Special Operations Unit (EMSOU)
Ministry of Defence
Civil Nuclear Constabulary
Lincolnshire and Derbyshire Police
Keynote speaker at New Scotland Yard for the Neurodiversity Celebration Week 2025

I talk about what it means to hide your identity in plain sight. About masking until you lose track of who you really are. And about the strength that comes from facing your mind instead of fighting it.

These aren’t motivational soundbites. They’re real experiences, shared so others don’t have to learn the hard way.

🏔 A Mantra Forged in Fire

Between 2016 and 2019, everything hit at once. My eldest son was hospitalised. My youngest and I were both diagnosed with autism. We went through family cancer battles, personal trauma, and constant uncertainty.

Through it all, I kept writing. And in one of the hardest years of our lives, my son and I trekked to Everest Base Camp when he was just thirteen. That trip became a symbol for us. It shaped our family mantra:

You Are Your Only Limit.

That phrase became the title of my first screenplay and the backbone of everything I do, from writing to coaching to how I parent.

🧭 What Drives Me Now

Everything I create: books, workshops, keynotes, NeuroEdge...it is built from lived experience.

I’m not trying to tell you who to be. I’m trying to help you unlearn everything that told you you weren’t enough.

My mission is simple:

Help people understand their minds
Stop the pressure to perform
And build spaces where difference is respected, not hidden

Whether I’m writing about demons, supernatural heros, monsters, dystopias, or the reality of burnout, it all comes back to this: helping people feel seen.