Just My Thoughts - Balancing Act

When people step forward to champion or advocate for a section of society, it often comes with a critical eye. In recent months I have shifted my perspective to be one of being less "safe" in my approach, to being more present and accountable for what I am saying and how I am trying to share my perspectives and experiences journeying through life...and yes that includes surviving the 80s, 90s and 00s (I say that slightly tongue in cheek but also with a reminder that our current world on surface appears far more willing to listen to diversity of thought and speech).

But what I have found is how difficult it is in the current climate not to upset someone. A lot of what I have shared through pictures, blog posts, videos and eventually the book You Are Your Only Limit which right now feels further away from me daring to release it than it was yesterday.

It is too easy for me to blame other people for their reactions to what I am sharing, I take full responsibility for what I say and I always approach what I'm doing with the concept of explaining not excusing my world and the way my neurodiversity influences me. I also am keen to express that what I share is only my perception of my position on a vast spectrum that balances two conditions. I know what I say is likely not to be the same for 99.99% of the neurodivergent population, but I also know that by sharing it helps people gain a perspective into some of the impacts and challenges we face.

Everything I write of post about is balanced on the question "who will I offend today" and then I remember that no offence is intentional and if I acquiesced to every single perspective I'd be able to write the word "hello" and that would be it. Case in point where I removed a post on another platform because someone told me that "you are not allowed to call it a disorder, that offends me and you can't say it, it's condition or nothing" which, while I understand people's preferences, that totally eradicated my perspective. Right now I am accepting the formal diagnosis and, as my brain works, despite what I may feel about the label that is what the official wording says so that is the rule. But to tell me I can't use a term that I have personally accepted, felt wrong.

As you can imagine, that started some tangent debates between commenters and undermined the message of the post so rather than feed an internal dispute within the community I deleted it...or was I censored? Who knows.

What feels true, even more so now I try and open up insights into things, is that doing so is like walking a tightrope. Walking along a corridor where you've got people behind glass walls spitting and snarling because not everything I say fits their perception. Nothing about this is them or us, me or them - it is simply giving people a perception into things in order to challenge old misconceptions and basically bring open conversation to the table.

In the past month I have been labelled as "pathetic," "weak," "full of your own s**t,"not a real autistic," "always on about something that shouldn't be talked about" and more...

I have also been called "brave," "too restrained," "inspirational" and "a helping perspective when things have been really tough."

Opinions matter, of course they do, perspectives are naturally important and the more mediums we have to champion conversation and education the better. Sadly, we seem to exist in a place where opinions of the outside matter more than the person speaking, especially in a virtual world where words or comments can be said without any thought or consequence.

I don't claim to know everything, in fact I don't claim to know anything other than my life and what it's been like. Yes, I talk about neurodiversity more now than I did in the past, but surely by acknowledging something in myself that has been hidden and personally misunderstood in me for so long, isn't it important to share that and help others make their realisation sooner? I think it is.

But this blog is about reminding people to naturally be careful not to upset everyone, but finding that balance of speaking your honest truth and experience in a fair way is far better than being silent and never showing or sharing. And for those intent on berating, bashing or bullying - my advice is to simply move on.

Where I get things wrong, I will reflect, I will also now undoubtedly stop sharing as much for a little bit because I need to find the balance again.

The world is improving, but we still have a long way to go.