The 2:1 Method: Annoying Myself Into Self-Belief

A popular method...

I’ve always been good at undermining myself. It’s almost a talent at this point. Sometimes I even throw in a bit of humour to soften the blow of potential rejection. It’s easier to laugh it off than admit I’m being hard on myself again. But more often than not, I’m wrong. There’s no need to keep beating myself up.

It’s not one of my official NeuroEdge pillars, but self-belief is fundamental. If you’re anything like me, giving yourself credit can feel like an uphill battle. Even when I achieve something genuinely great, I’ll almost immediately follow it with a “but.” It’s like my brain won’t let me have that one little win without undercutting it somehow.

Why We Default to Negativity

I’ve always wondered why it’s so easy to focus on the negatives. I’ve come to realise it’s rooted in how I grew up. For years, I felt like my real self wasn’t quite good enough. I was made to feel inadequate just by being who I was, as if masking and performing were the only acceptable ways to exist. That mindset sticks with you.

When you spend your formative years being told, directly or indirectly, that you need to be “better," less weird, more compliant, more like everyone else, you internalise the idea that you’re inherently lacking. So, every time something doesn’t go to plan, my mind immediately links it to that old belief: “Of course it didn’t work. I wasn’t good enough again.”

This habit of focusing on what’s wrong rather than celebrating what’s right becomes second nature. It’s not just a lack of self-belief, it’s a learned response to protect yourself from disappointment. If you don’t believe you deserve the win, you can’t be let down when it slips away.

The “But” Problem (not that type of butt!)

Even when I manage something significant, it’s often accompanied by a sneaky little “but.”

• I wrote a new chapter, but it could be better.

• I finished a project, but I missed the deadline by a day.

• I got positive feedback, but they probably didn’t mean it.

It’s like that small word undermines everything good that happens. It’s exhausting. You don’t allow yourself to take credit, and it’s a cycle that’s hard to break. Instead of feeling proud, you feel like you’re constantly just falling short of what you “should” be.

Negative Spirals: The Trap of Inherited Thinking

Once you start focusing on what’s wrong, it’s hard to stop. Your mind digs deeper and deeper into why you aren’t good enough, why you failed, or why it’s not worth trying next time. This negative spiral feeds on itself, and before you know it, you’ve convinced yourself that success is for everyone else, not you.

It’s tough to break free when your brain defaults to doubt. For a long time, I genuinely thought it was a useful motivator. Keep pushing, never settle, always be better. But it’s not sustainable. You can’t keep improving if you never acknowledge that you’re already doing well. The problem is, you end up achieving a lot and feeling proud of none of it.

The 2:1 Method: Annoying Myself Into Self-Belief

So, here’s my deliberately annoying way to break that cycle. I call it the 2:1 Method. Every time I catch myself slipping into negativity, I force myself to come up with two positive counterpoints. It sounds simple, but it’s surprisingly effective, mostly because it disrupts the automatic negative thought pattern.

Here’s how it works:

1. Catch the Negative Thought: “I messed up that project again.”

2. Counter It with Two Positives:

   • “I made progress, and that’s something to build on.”

   • “Last time, I didn’t even get that far, I’m improving.”

It’s not about tricking yourself into feeling better. It’s about actively challenging the habit of undermining yourself. You’re forcing your brain to acknowledge the wins instead of automatically dismissing them. It’s deliberate and repetitive and, honestly, a bit annoying at first. But that’s the point. You’re interrupting your own negativity long enough to see a different perspective.

Why The Method Works

When you’re neurodivergent, it’s easy to hyperfocus on the problem and completely miss the progress. Your mind zeroes in on the one thing that didn’t go perfectly, and suddenly the whole experience feels like a failure. The 2:1 Method doesn’t magically make self-doubt disappear, but it forces you to reframe your thinking.

The more I’ve practiced it, the quicker I’ve become at finding those two positives. It’s not always easy, and sometimes I have to dig deep. But eventually, it becomes second nature to push back against that initial wave of negativity.

I’ve found that the method doesn’t just help me think differently, it actively changes how I feel about my achievements. Instead of feeling like I’m forever chasing an impossible standard, I can actually celebrate the small wins without immediately dismissing them.

Try It Yourself: The 2:1 Challenge

If you’re up for it, give the 2:1 Method a shot. Here’s a quick exercise to get started:

1. Identify a recent situation where you felt disappointed in yourself.

2. Write down the negative thought that came to mind.

3. Force yourself to find two counter positives, no matter how small they seem.

4. Repeat this process every time a self-doubt creeps in.

Write these down somewhere visible maybe a note on your phone or a sticky note on your desk. You’ll be surprised how often those positives get buried when negativity takes the wheel.

Final Thoughts

It’s easy to live in that negative headspace, but it’s not where growth happens. We’ve been conditioned to think that acknowledging our achievements means we’re being arrogant or complacent. The truth is, giving yourself credit doesn’t make you self-absorbed , it makes you honest about your own journey.

You’re doing better than you think. And when that little voice in your head says you’re not, challenge it. Annoy yourself into acknowledging the wins. You’ll find that celebrating your progress, however small, is the best way to keep moving forward.

You’ve got this. You just have to keep reminding yourself twice as much as you doubt.