When Taking Things Literally Holds You Back

Ever found yourself overthinking a situation, taking things so literally that you almost sabotage yourself? I’ve been there. One of the biggest lessons I learned in my journey as both an author and an advocate was that sometimes, interpreting things too literally can lead you down a confusing, unproductive path.

The Day I Literally Created Two Versions of Myself

When I put in my first business interest at work for my debut fiction book, I was told I had to write under a pseudonym. I was informed I couldn’t use my role at work to advertise or leverage sales. Fair enough. But here’s where I went wrong: I took it way too literally.

I created an entirely separate version of myself. Tobey Alexander the author and Gav Skevington the professional. Two people, two lives, completely disconnected. For ages, I convinced myself I had to keep these identities apart. It felt like I was living two lives, and honestly, it was exhausting.

Funny enough, it took a commendation from the Chief Constable and a few articles about my achievements in both neuro-inclusion and fiction writing to make me realise something huge. The penny dropped, I didn’t have to be two people. Just because I couldn’t openly leverage my work role to sell books didn’t mean I had to fragment myself.

The Turning Point: Consolidating My Identity

At one point, I even had two LinkedIn accounts, trying to maintain the separation. It became a mess, two accounts to manage, two voices to maintain. And the confusion spilled into my creativity and confidence.

Eventually, I consolidated. Gav and Tobey are the same person, driven by the same values, working towards the same goal: to inspire and empower. I realised I didn’t need to box myself into two identities just because of a misinterpretation. It was a huge relief to embrace that I could be one person with multiple passions.

The Power of Clarity

One of the most ridiculous moments was when I wrote a charity kids' book about Santa and a police officer saving Christmas. I was told I had to declare it as a business interest because it involved policing. I thought I’d done something wrong, like my imagination was now under scrutiny. It almost ruined the charity sales until someone with a bit of common sense stepped in.

The lesson? Sometimes the problem isn’t the rule but how we interpret it. I wasn’t wrong to think about integrity, but I was wrong to believe I couldn’t be authentically myself. In truth, clarity and conciseness are key, not just for neurodivergent folks but for everyone.

Activity: Reclaiming Your Unified Identity

Think of a situation where you felt like you had to split yourself into two versions to fit different expectations. Maybe it’s at work versus at home, or how you present yourself online versus in real life.

1. Reflect: Write down what each version of yourself represents. What rules, expectations, or beliefs made you feel you had to separate them?

2. Identify the Overlap: Circle the values and goals that both versions share. Where do they intersect?

3. Unify: Write one sentence that sums up who you are when you combine those elements. It should feel authentic and true to you.

Final Thoughts - Literally

Taking things too literally is like putting on blinders, it narrows your vision and limits your growth. Sometimes it’s necessary to question the rules or your interpretation of them. Consolidating my identities wasn’t just about making life easier — it was about staying true to myself and not letting fear dictate my choices.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in that split-identity trap, I get it. But trust me, it’s worth the effort to reclaim your unified self. You’re not two people — you’re one person with a diverse set of passions, skills, and ambitions.

So, let go of the unnecessary separation and give yourself permission to just be you. I promise it’s a game-changer.

Can't beat a manifesting image of me on a film set for my short film Masks...one day this will be a photo.