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  • Writer's pictureTobey Alexander

Busy Brains

Busy brains doesn't always mean productivity...

I have to say, having a brain that works on a dozen tangents at one time would sound like a bonus. Don't get me wrong, it does have its advantages sometimes. For example, at any one time I can be working on all these things:

✅ Story idea

✅ New clothes designs

✅ Day job

✅ Planning a new trip/walk

✅ Answering emails

✅ Planning marketing

✅ Coming up with new neurodiversity awareness ideas

But sometimes it just explodes!

My brain feels like it can't contain all the things inside and rather than just "pick one" as I so often get told, my brain just goes into meltdown.

Even if I am mid-writing (which is normally my calming effect) I can sit and stare for an hour thinking what I should do but finding myself physically and mentally exhausted.

Honestly, it's like my inner-voice is my fourth child, the most unruly one that rarely does as they are told and I end up chasing around after them.

Sometimes it takes a nudge from the outside to get me back on track, other times I just need to be alone.

At the moment I am fighting to keep my thoughts on very specific areas that require my attention between work, writing and home.

I know I'm getting it wrong - the balance is inconsistent and often swayed the wrong way.

But I can't fight it. I can't chastise the inner-autistic brain and say "do as you're told" or else I know what happens - we end up chasing around after each other for too long!

The best thing I can say to anyone seeing this happen is be there but be prepared to be pushed away. As harsh as that sounds, sometimes even the best-willed advice can make me snap because I'm already fighting with myself.

Other times you just get the ill-thought out comments like "just snap out of it" or my personal favourite "why don;t you change the way you think!?" As if it's that easy!

Meltdowns and shutdowns don't always manifest as you'd expect, for me it just ends up in going in on myself and shutting stuff out. As long as I know there's a rope waiting to guide me out, then I'm good.

I only shared this one as I am sat planning a work trip to London next week and am trying to work out how to do some marketing images for The Raven by visiting Whitechapel...that sounds easy but I am mentally figuring out travel time, movements, timetables and all else when in reality I know I should just chill and go with the flow.

Yeah! I wish it were that easy!

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